Do Not Fear The Zombie Apocalypse. CDC Has a Plan.
Are you prepared for the “Zombie Apocalypse”? If not, have no fear because the CDC is going to help you get ready for when the undead attack. There will be no public health crisis when zombies begin chasing us in the streets because the CDC has a plan.
On a website that is now more visited that the CDC homepage (clearly the undead among us are surfing the web, preparing to outwit our defenses), the CDC cautions us that there are many kinds of natural disasters that you cannot prepare for–but one for which we can all ready ourselves? That’s right: a zombie take-over.
I thought that we had this covered by the 2009 Woody Harrelson movie, “Zombieland.” It came with a set of 32 rules for how to survive a planet taken over by zombies. Rule #1: Cardio. Rule #2: Double-tap. Rule #3: Avoid bathrooms. Sage advice indeed.
Plus with iPad and iPhone apps like “Plants vs. Zombies” we all know that zombies can be defeated with a healthy pummeling of peas or a corncob cannon. Zombies will be defenseless against the skills we learn from “Zombie Farm” where we learn how to genetically engineer our own zombies. Frankly, with these tools at our disposal, the undead don’t stand a chance.
In all seriousness, the CDC should get a (very small) pat on the back for trying to make disaster preparedness fun (again) by helping us imagine how we might evade zombies and by extension be prepared for much more likely disasters like hurricanes and earthquakes. And rest assured, as the CDC Zombie Apocalypse website reminds us: “If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak.” Whew. I was worried there for a second.
Summer McGee, PhD